Sandbaggers

This is from my buddy Greg's blog ( Service Course ) With all the new riders I thought I would post up some cyclist definitions and how to read between the lines ....

Cyclists are the biggest bunch of sandbaggers and secret trainers around. They will say anything to soften you up for the kill. Don't let this happen to you !
Study this handy rider's phrasebook to find out what they really mean when they say :

'I'm out of shape'
Translation - I ride 400 miles a week and haven't missed a day since the Ford administration. I replace my 11 tooth cog more often than you wash your shorts. My body fat percentage is lower than your mortgage rate.

'I'm not into competition'
Translation - I will attack you until you collapse in the gutter, babbling and whimpering. I will win the sprint, even if I have to force you into oncoming traffic. I will crest this hill first, even if I have to grab your seat post and spray energy drink into your eyes.

'I'm on my beater bike'
Translation - I had this baby custom made in Tuscany using Titanium blessed by the Pope. I took it to a wind tunnel and it disappeared. It weighs less than a fart and costs more than a divorce.

'It's not that hilly"
Translation - This climb lasts longer than a presidential campaign. Be careful on the steep section sections or you'll fall over ( backwards ) . You have a 39X23 low gear ? Here's the name of my knee surgeon.

'You're doing great, honey. '
Translation - Yo, lard ass ! I'd like to get home before midnite. This is what you get for spending the winter decorating and eating chocolate. I shouda married that cute cat 1 racer when I had the chance.

'This is a no drop ride. "
Translation - I'll need an article of your clothing for the search and rescue dogs.

'It's not that far. '
Translation - Bring your passport.